Valentine's Day Gift Faux Pas: When Presents Lead to Breakups

Sonam (name changed) has recently been searching for a partner on dating apps. She was in a relationship three years ago. The two broke up due to a mistake made by her partner (as she perceives it). So, what was the mistake? Was the man cheating on her?

Actually, it wasn't anything like that. Her partner decided to gift her a refrigerator for Valentine's Day, as she lives far from home. Consequently, Sonam, who was angered by this gesture, broke up with him.

Who Breaks Up Over a Refrigerator Gift?
Sonam's answer: A lover shouldn't try to become a husband.

We had only started dating six months ago. I have a job. I can buy such things myself. Instead, he could have taken me to a romantic place for Valentine's Day. Even just giving me a ring would have sufficed.  

Why Do We Give Gifts?
Many studies have been conducted on this topic, revealing that when giving a gift, one should have two goals:

1. To make the recipient happy. Therefore, the gift should be something the recipient actually wants.

2. The purpose is to strengthen the relationship between the giver and the receiver. Therefore, choose a memorable gift. In other words, you should know what to give your partner without having to ask them.

The Danger of Social Risk:
When you are giving someone a gift, spending your own money on it, what is the risk of social risk? However, if you are giving a gift, will they like it or not? Are they expecting something else from you? Do they feel like you don't know their interests? Will there be talk about you among family and friends because of that gift? There are many such things that can stress you out.

This is because a right gift strengthens your relationship, while a bad gift can also separate you.

What was the relationship like after receiving the gift?
In 1999, a study was conducted on 129 people. Participants were asked to describe in detail the gift they received and how their relationship was afterward.

In that research, 10 participants stated that the relationship weakened due to the gift, and two said the relationship ended after receiving the gift.

There is also this theory...
In the 1970s, a scientist named Robert Trivers mentioned the theory of reciprocal altruism. According to this theory, certain individuals can be more successful not only in helping themselves but also in helping each other.

Trivers concluded that most of us desire to help the other person. This might also be due to the temptation that they will help us if we are in need. As a result, the relationship between the two lasts for a long time.

Breakup Due to Gift on Valentine's Day:
Not receiving a gift as desired can also be a reason for a breakup. There are many surveys where breakups occur because the gift was disliked.

According to Abhinav, a counselor at a breakup helpline in India, 40 percent of women admitted to leaving their partners due to receiving the wrong gift.

Similarly, 18 percent of men stated they might decide to leave their partners because of a bad gift.

Is giving cash right or wrong?
To avoid the hassle of gift-giving, you might think giving cash is appropriate. Therefore, in our country, when confused about what gift to give, people often give money in a nice envelope.

However, in some relationships, giving cash as a gift is a bad option. It is called an unthoughtful gift because you don't have to think about it at all.

When to give cash, when not to?
– Giving cash as a gift on Valentine's Day is the worst.
– In Chinese culture, giving cash in a red envelope is considered a symbol of good fortune.
– On birthdays, it is better to give a card instead of cash as a gift.

What gift to choose for Valentine's Day?
Think carefully about what your partner likes. What kind of fragrance do they like? Which specific restaurant do they like for a romantic dinner? Where do they like to go on weekends? Something they have been thinking about buying for a long time. Only after considering all these can you decide to buy the right gift.

Men need to pay attention to the fact that women are experts at giving hints.

Therefore, before buying a gift, it is important to check if you have also been given any hints. Women should also not just give things like shirts, ties, and watches to their partners. You can also get some things customized. If you can't think of anything good, you can plan a dinner.